I spent the evening last night (Sunday) celebrating my dad's 73rd B-Day (which is today, Monday). It is an extra special birthday seeing as we were told 4 months ago that he only had 1-3 months to live...yet here he is, back at home, off of oxygen, and walking short distances without the aid of a walker. (The other thing that makes this birthday special is that his age is the reverse of his birth year, which is entertaining to an odd family like mine. Interesting, in 8 days I will also be having my reverse year birthday).

For his b-day he gets a blood transfusion. Fun I am sure.

I can understand that the doctors want to give people time to prepare and adjust when their prognosis no longer looks favourable; it encourages them to get their affairs in order, to say what they need to say, and to see who they want to see before the time comes. That I get. What I don't get, is how it helps to potentially remove hope with such a definitive statement. Would it not be better to word it so as to leave a glimmer of hope even in the most dire of situations? "Your condition is serious and you are not responding well to treatment. Typically people in this situation have another 1-3 months to live, but of course we will work with you to overcome the odds and regain your quality of life." or some such.

I think that this is a lesson that should be taken to other aspects of life as well. People can tend to be "dream killers" and to take away hope. "You can't possibly be a vet with marks like those", "you can't win in FEI dressage without a fancy warmblood and lots of $$$"

Wouldn't we be better to give comments that give hope within the confines of reality such as "Work hard towards your goals, and opportunities may present themselves that you can't foresee right now". Doesn't that sound better? Not only does it give you hope, it hopefully allows you to enjoy the journey.

Dad isn't sure that he will achieve his goal of taking mom to Hawaii, but he is taking it one day at a time to work towards that goal, and enjoying the journey along they way.

I hope I inherited his spirit.

Have a great Monday everyone!

Karen