Life Lessons from the barn

Sometimes someone comes to you with a problem, and the solution seems so obvious to you, but to them it was a daunting issue, with no easy remedy. And then you wonder why you can fix someone else's problem so easily, but not your own?

This is so true in riding, where even "amateurs" can watch the professionals ride, and see problems with their position, training, or style...even though you couldn't ride as well as them, you can still "ring side coach", yet can't solve their own very basic problems.

Similarly, how often do we see someone (or ourselves!) jump from one similar problem to another? Whether it is poor boyfriend choices, poor eating choices, or poor horse purchases, people tend to recreate the same problem over and over and over, and can't seem to permanently break the cycle; only give themselves a brief respite by trying again at the same thing!

There is an Italian proverb that goes something like "There is joy in a new set of problems". How true!

I find this is very true with training and coaching. Getting a horse in for 5 weeks training is a very satisfying experience (for the most part!) as it is a new set of problems, and typically I can gain considerable progress in that time, or over come an existing issue that has plagued the owner for years. Same with getting a new student from another barn; often I can see that student in a new light and come up with new solutions that make me look brilliant!

When I have a long term training prospect, that I work with for years such as my own horses or boarded horses, or with long term students, usually I will hit a wall at some point, where I realize we aren't progressing, or the student has an issue I just cannot pinpoint or resolve. With the students it is usually easier to overcome this stumbling block as I can discuss it with them, but with the horses it is more complicated.

I think this is why some barns (and some owners!) have a high turn over rate of horses...they are looking for joy in a new problem!

The odd thing I am realizing is, is if a totally new horse (or rider) came in with that same set of issues I am stonewalled on, I would be able to address it and deal with it.

So why is that? I think it is because I get too close to the issue. My subconscious doesn't want me to let go of what I have been doing, as to do so would mean I failed in the first place with my original technique...so stubbornly my subconscious sets up a wall that doesn't let me look at the problem with the same fresh eyes as I would a new client.

But is my subconscious being fair? Did I really fail if I am no longer seeing progress? The whole hindsight is 20/20 thing? Well, maybe not. Maybe I used the best techniques at the time, for the horse/rider at the time. The fact that they no longer work might not be due to a faulty technique, but rather than the horse/rider outgrew that technique!

Back to "life" examples; it is how the methods you used to choose a boyfriend in highschool/university, may have been great for then, but once you wanted to search out husband material, those same search methods would likely fail. That does not mean those date finding methods were bad, just not appropriate for your current/new goals.

Or perhaps a better example would be learning to ride a bike; most people learn with training wheels on their little bike. This helps you gain confidence and skills while riding, but if you keep those training wheels on forever you are never going to able to go on trails, turn well, or look cool, so at a certain point, in order to progress, you need to give up the training wheels. Something parents might have a hard time doing as it may mean watching their kids fall a few times, but it is the only way to progress. This doesn't mean the training wheels were a bad technique; they were suitable for starting out, but at some point need to be taken off and thrown away!

So I have found myself hitting a wall of progress with a couple of horses; but I have decided that instead of considering that wall to illustrate mistakes on my part, instead I am going to look at it as a stepping stone to the next level requiring me to take a fresh look at those horses....just like I would if they just came in for training and to move on.

And so far, it seems to be working....so take that subconscious!

Karen