Adventures in Oven Cleaning

When I was growing up, we were led to believe that we would have hover cars, eat pills for nutrients, and have our own personal robot servants. Ensure has come close to the pills for nutrients, but as for the rest, the future has been pretty much a let down.

So in light of the above, who can blame me for not paying attention to the task of cleaning an oven?

When I lived alone I didn't use the oven enough to ever clean it, but a few weeks ago, it occurred to me that perhaps ovens shouldn't have a layer of dinner remains scarred to the bottom, and that perhaps the window at the front should be able to be seen through.

This was my first mistake. I should have realized the door opens so who needs the window, and the burnt food particles at the bottom of the oven just add flavour to whatever I am cooking...mesquite!

Next mistake was believing the "Odour Free"  label on the can of oven cleaner. They don't really mean Odour Free. It stinks...a lot...what they mean is it will get you high so quickly that you will soon not notice the horrid smell you are spraying into the thing that you make dinner in.

But I read the label, and sprayed the spray, and shut the door as it said to. Then I needed fresh air. Badly. So I went to the barn, chatted, rode Izzy, fed the horses....and forgot about the oven.

Until 2 weeks later when I went to pre-heat the oven to make dinner (yummy Salmon!).

Do you know what happens when you turn the oven on without rinsing off the Oven Cleaner?

I will tell you what happens.

Visible vapours start to pour out of the stove top elements and out the door. Your throat will close and you will feel faint. Your husband will say "something smells funny" but not bother to get up from the sofa where he is watching TV while you lie spasming on the floor. Fortunately stoves have range fans, unfortunately the cloud of killer fumes will continue to find their way out of the oven for the next hour even though the oven wasn't allowed to get that hot.

Then the dilemma becomes what to do next. The "Easy Off" spray is now BAKED on to the inside of the stove like a sticky greasy layer that was way worse than the former layer of fat, grease and fallen food particles, and the element in the oven will have a sickly grey tinge.

My choice was to just use the toaster oven for the next while.

It then occurred to me that maybe I just needed to Easy Off it again, but this time actually rinse it after the suggested two hours. So I did that. And now my oven has moderately less burnt on gunk on the bottom and the window can now be seen through more or less. But I am afraid to turn the oven on ever again in case I missed a spot of cleaner and infuse our next dinner with toxic fumes that will render me blind and leave me saying "like" five times a sentence. It was not worth it. I think they should just sell disposable oven doors, and I will get one of those tin trays to put at the bottom of my oven, and cleaning the thing be damned. Or take out. That is the worst part of country living...no dinner delivery!

Of maybe you damn kids should get off the computer and get around to inventing that Robot servant like I was promised when I was 8 years old!

Karen