Things you should not let your horse over hear....

You just got work benefits....because your horse will make sure you NEED that chiropractor

You ran out of horse cookies...see above result.

You have put the horse up for sale...because it will put its leg through the fence requiring a long recovery.

You have entered a show that requires braids....because it will ensure it rubs out the center part of the mane.

Your farrier is away for a week....it will be sure to pull a shoe.

It is the first day of a long holiday weekend...as it will do something requiring at least one emergency vet call.

You have someone coming to take photos of you riding...it will be sure to wipe green slime across your boobs...even if you made sure not to let it grab any grass on the way to the ring.

Your mom who is terrified of horses is watching you ride...as your normally lovely horse will step on your toe in the barn, and buck you off in the ring and take off galloping.

You got a bonus/raise at work...your horse will suddenly change shape and need a new saddle, or rip its blanket needing a new one or need a major vet appointment.

"He never spooks"....no horse wants to feel taken for granted...he will find something to spook at...particularly if this comment was in a sales ad and you are in the process of showing the horse to someone...

Karen